Being a parent is the most difficult job, but at the same time, it can be the best thing. There are no instructions, we never stop learning, and the truth is we never stop being parents to our children.
As parents, we must teach our children to be respectful, to tell the truth, to not steal, be supportive, and above all to not be violent; all this should be instilled before enrolling them in school.
We are not to delegate our parenting work to teachers; instead let’s help our teachers out.
All these values should be taught at home, and we must know that we are the first best teachers. The first education our children receive must be a product of our perseverance, and it requires a constant commitment. We must also adapt to changing times without forgetting about morals and good values.
It seems like the media is covering bullying issues and in schools on a weekly basis, and just imagine how many incidents go unreported or unknown! We have a duty to teach our children about how to treat others, how to feel secure enough with themselves so as to not pick on someone that they feel is emotionally or physically weaker.
I believe what is happening in our schools is not the complete fault of our public schools, much less of the teachers. The gigantic problem of bullying we face daily sprouts from our poor upbringing and lack of attention to our children.
How much quality time do you spend with your children on a daily basis? When was the last time you talked to your child about a topic that he or she cares about?
Work and adult responsibilities easily take up 10 plus hours in our day, and our children often find themselves looking for our time and answers to all their doubts. Sometimes kids search for answers through someone else and/or distract themselves by focusing on things that are accessible to them.
Young kids without proper supervision spend hours in front of cell phone or electronic screens, playing violent video games, or even worse, watching pornography. All of this affects their subconscious behavior, and parents who are not monitoring their children on a daily basis need to wake up and make changes in their routines.
Parents, what is happening to us?
We are raising a generation of young people who are aggressive, upset, and do not know how to communicate properly. Many young people do not know how to manage their emotions. I notice our youth using incomplete sentences through texts, using tons of abbreviations and emoticons to express their feelings and thoughts and not doing it properly by making eye contact and actually communicating. Are our busy schedules promoting text as the best form of communication with our teens?
By no means am I suggesting to ban electronics, but instead we need to show our children love and affection and prioritize conversation with them on a daily basis. It is important that our children feel that they are important to us and that they can trust us, have our support when they face problems, and that they are accompanied by our advice.
If we don’t give our children face to face time, I am pretty sure they will seek validation from the electronic screen, this is where they see false happiness published. They live in the feed of classmates where their lives seem perfect, comparing their life to their classmates and celebrity idols, which can lead to them doubting the life they have and contribute to a sense of hopelessness.
It’s no wonder that we encounter children and teens who are upset enough to take out their hatred against others and become stalkers, cyber bullies, or bullies at school.
Both the bully or and children being bullied have a common denominator, they both are in need of attention, time, and affection.
All this can be avoided if parents are present and alert with their children — it is not easy but it is doable.
Schedule time for each of your children, even if it’s a couple of hours a day. Monitor what they watch and play. Take interest in the friendships they have. If your children have a babysitter, be sure the babysitter knows the rules and restriction to electronics.
Do not allow your job or busy schedule to get in the way of being a good parent.
Napoleon tells us that the best age to educate a child is 20 years before he is born, educating his parents.
MaryCarmen Plancarte
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